Wanda Says…True Confessions: My parental failure as the Tooth Fairy

/ Wanda

tooth fairyMy Tooth Fairy track record was spotless…until today.

Last Friday night our family attended the annual Halloween Carnival at Bryn’s school.  At some point during the carnival, Bryn was eating a candy bar and accidentally ate a loose tooth.  She told me later she felt something hard while she was chewing but thought it was a peanut in the candy bar so she just swallowed it.  She showed me the gap in her teeth when we got home, and she expressed her concern that the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t come because she didn’t have a tooth to leave under her pillow.  I assured her it wouldn’t matter and the Tooth Fairly would come.  Keep in mind, Bryn is ten years old now, so that should tell you how good I am at playing the Tooth Fairy.

But I forgot.  I totally forgot.  Last night, I went into Bryn’s room to say goodnight and to collect my nightly snuggles.  This is what I found on her bedside table…

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It was so cute and totally something Bryn would do.  And of course I felt horrible that I had forgotten.   So I said, “Oh, that’s really sweet Bryn.  I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will come tonight.”  And then Bryn says, “Well, that note has been sitting there for three days and she hasn’t come, so I doubt it.”

Do you hear that?  It’s the sound of my heart breaking.  It’s the sound of my failure as a mother.  My daughter left a note for the Tooth Fairy in plain sight on her bedside table, and not only did I forget that she lost a tooth, but I totally failed to recognize it or pay attention.  I am an asshole.  It doesn’t take a lot to remember to give your kid a dollar for a lost tooth.  It’s not hard.  And I blew it.  Later, I went to bed vowing to rectify this situation.

I woke up this morning and dressed.  I walked down the hall to wake Bryn up for school and saw that damn note sitting on her bedside table.  I forgot again!  What the fuck is wrong with me?!  So I crept back to my room, gathered enough change to equal a dollar, and snuck into her room.  I put the change on her table and then collected the note and put it in my pocket.

I woke her up and started to get her clothes together for her.  I casually mentioned that the Tooth Fairy finally came.  Bryn looks at the money, then looks at me with the most perceptive, adult expression I’ve ever seen her wear.  She then says, “I find it interesting that the Tooth Fairy finally came after I showed you the note last night.  You didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?”  And she smiles.  It was a knowing smile.  It was a ‘you’re-busted-and-you-can’t-deceive-me-any-longer’ smile.

I did the only thing I could at that point.  I confessed.  She’s ten, and I was lucky I got away with the charade as long as I did.   I looked at her and said, “You’re right.  I am the Tooth Fairy.  I am so sorry I forgot about your tooth, but you can’t tell your brother!”

LeprachaunShe took it well, which was a relief.  When she was in third grade I had to tell her that Leprechauns weren’t real and she lost her shit.  She was so pissed at me.  But her class was building Leprechaun traps for St. Patrick’s Day and she kept going on and on about how she was so sure the trap she designed would work.  So her response this morning was a welcome relief.  She smiled, hugged me and acted like it was no big deal.  She got her money, which at this point is probably more important to her than believing in the Tooth Fairy.

Despite her forgiveness and understanding, I still feel like a bad mom.  There are only so many things we can do for our kids to instill a sense of magic and wonder in the world.  And I suppose the fact that she is old enough to know the truth signifies the end of some of that magic.  And that makes me sad.  😦

20 thoughts on “Wanda Says…True Confessions: My parental failure as the Tooth Fairy”

  5. Hi Wanda, I enjoyed this story. Having your kids discover you are the tooth fairy and Santa is an end in a sort of way of the magic of imagination. I have to admit I did have a lot of fun with my kids when they were little about santa. The only night in the year where they went to sleep all on cue, all six of them. Now they have kids of their own and I am going to try the elf on the shelf with their little ones, see how we go.
    Its easy to beat yourself up as a parent over forgetting stuff but its part and parcel of being a parent, you are not infallible and your kids become very aware of that. Have a good day.

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  6. Alright, you got Christmas just around the corner … don’t don’t don’t don’t forget the presents from “Santa” or yes, you really will be an @sshole!!!! 🙂

    Loved this post … I think it’s my favorite.

    No go spank yourself “bad mom” and get over it … if you continue to feel bad, get the pliers out and yank out YOUR own favorite tooth from your mouth — I assure you that will be a self-punishment you’ll never forget! KIDDING! Please don’t do that … I don’t want to read some post that I inspired about you yanking out a tooth and see the bloody carnage photos!

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    • LOL! I’m actually surprised she hasn’t noticed that I have the same wrapping paper as Santa. I thought for sure she would figure that out last year. And no worries…I like my teeth where they are! 🙂

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  7. I loved reading this cute story Wanda…and you are a great mom.But sometimes you just can’t help it…I have a three and a half year old daughter myself and reading what you do for your daughters and the effort you put in , to fill some magic and wonder ,into their lives inspires me so much…So although my little one had still some time to start losing her teeth…I have decided I am going to play a good tooth fairy to her ( well at least ,till she discovers the truth herself ! )…And the note wrote by Bryn was so cute..god bless..:)

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  8. I have forgotten to be the tooth fairy before and it makes me feel like an total jerk. Now my technique is to set an alarm on my phone to go off before I go to bed, but after my kids are asleep, so I don’t forget. My kids know the tooth fairy isn’t real anyway, I hate the idea of lying to them (and I get it, it is fun for them, I’m not against parents that do keep up the charade/mystery/fantasy) so I’ve told them the truth all along as soon as they were old enough to understand.

    The funny thing is, kids are naturally inclined to believe in mythology. And it is a beautiful thing. When my kids were five and seven, I gathered them to me to explain the truth about Christmas. Santa is not real and Mommy and Daddy buy the presents and put them under the tree. I thought, simple right? They’ll get it now and I don’t have to pretend. Well my dang kids forgot within days what I had told them and went right on believing in Santa Claus!! Ha! Jokes on mom, I guess. 😀

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  9. What a touching story, Wanda. Don’t beat yourself up about it. They all find out sooner or later, and asking her not to tell her brother probably made her feel grown up… After all, it’s all part of growing up!

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