That Time I Lost My Sh*t at the Grocery Store

/ Wanda

In the feminine hygiene aisle, no less.

my-neighbors-diary-said-i-have-boundary-issues-0341d[1]I went to the store to purchase a handful of items, and tampons were on my list.  I was standing in the aisle looking for my preferred brand, and I felt someone standing close behind me.  Close, like only people who know me well, close.   And I have a thing about people who don’t respect personal boundaries, especially in public, so I became very still and just waited for them to move on.  The person behind me didn’t move.  About ten seconds later, a man cleared his throat and said hello.

WTF?

Why is a man trying to talk to me in the feminine hygiene aisle?  Who does this?  No one does this because it is forbidden!  Standard rules of etiquette clearly state that no man ever should approach a woman in this particular aisle, for any reason, especially when she is standing directly in front of tampons.  I salute the men who purchase female products for their wives, sisters, daughters, etc…I myself used to force my older brother to buy my pads and tampons when I was a teenager because I was too embarrassed to do it myself.  I even sent my brother’s friend into the store once, and when he bought the wrong thing, I made him go back and return it.  There were perks to being a cute girl in high school, and I used that to my advantage when my monthly visitor came.  But everyone knows you don’t try to strike up a conversation with a woman for any reason while she is shopping this aisle.

I slowly turned around to find a young-ish, good-looking man with a nice smile staring at me.  Had to be in his late twenties.  He was holding a few fancy black gift bags and he immediately started talking…

Man:  How are you today?

Me:  No.  Just….no.

Man: (confused look on his face) Ummmm, what?

Me:  Please don’t do this.  Please don’t try to talk to me or sell me something right now.  Just…..don’t.  Please just walk away.

Man:  Ummm, well I would like to talk to you about these great cosmetics I have here…

Me:  Oh my God!  Stop talking!  I don’t want to be rude to you, but you need to walk away from me right now.  Do you see where I am?  Do you understand how inappropriate this is?  I am buying tampons!  Tampons!  You don’t try to interrupt and sell make-up to women in the fucking tampon aisle!  What the hell is wrong with you?

Man:  (pissy look on his face)  Well, I am sorry to disturb you.

Me:  You should be sorry! What kind of perv are you?

11870926_10205390023731595_6675434545531510468_n[1]He then turned around, beet red in the face and walked away. I ran into him a few aisles over in the ice cream section as he was trying to chat up another woman.  I shot him a dirty look and kept walking, after I grabbed my chocolate peanut butter ice cream, of course.

I went home and told my husband, “Some poor sales guy just had a really rough day because of me.”

20 thoughts on “That Time I Lost My Sh*t at the Grocery Store”

  3. LOL!!!! okay…this was hilarious!!! thank you for sharing this. Men…well…MOST men understand the unwritten rule that you never talk with a woman in that aisle. Heck! You never make eye contact with a woman in that aisle!!!

    Just yesterday I was at the grocery store and this particular store has the body wash in the same aisle as the feminine products..why?…I don’t know!…and anytime I need to get body wash I just pray that no one is in that aisle. LOL…..I know…I’m weird…but I was dropped on my head as an infant and raised with sisters, so I have an excuse. 🙂

    Nice job putting that guy in his place!

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    • They should keep men’s products separate in the store. That way we don’t have to run into each other. I know we’re supposed to be mature about this, but it’s just uncomfortable. And even women rarely make eye-contact with each other in the female aisle. It’s not like we ask each other for recommendations. And as for putting him in his place, I will admit that I’m not proud of the way I talked to him, but he was young, and now he has learned. Life is full of hard lessons. 😉

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  4. Oh shit, you just make me laugh. But it’s soooo true. I had an old lady tell me the other day, in the same aisle, “Honey, you just wait until you have to scooch down here to the Depends. Enjoy your tampon youth sweetheart.” I smiled but had no words for her. I have repeatedly told my husband, tampons need to be treated with the walk in beer coolers. You know some stores, it has the separate door you walk in, all the beer surrounds you, you shop by yourself, then calmly exit the door. Tampons and women’s ‘things’ should be treated the same, and the men should also have one for their ‘things’. WTF do us women know though.

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    • LOL! Who would think “tampon youth” would be something to cherish? I love it! And you’re right, someone needs to market this idea to all grocery and drug stores.

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      • LOL!

        What a freaking weirdo to:
        1) be talking to you in “that” aisle
        2) trying to sell you something in a store!

        I’m not sure what I would have said … let me imagine. Oh yeah, I had a hysterectomy and wouldn’t even be down “that” aisle … but way back when I had that bleeding baby house it probably would have gone something like this.

        “No, I don’t want to buy anything no matter what you’re selling. Please don’t try to sell me anything in a store. I HATE when people like you do this. No, I don’t want your ‘business’ card and I DON’T WANT ANY PRODUCTS FROM YOU or anyone else who tries to sell me stuff in a grocery store.” Then I would turn my back and completely ignore this @sshat.

        I HATE people being all fakey, trying to be my “new” friend or giving my compliments only to try to sell me something. Go away. Go away now! THAT is what the internet (and stored IRL) are for — that’s where I buy my sh*t — not from doucheholes who pretend to be interested in me on some artificial level. Just sayin’!

        I feel your wrath … I REALLY do.

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