New Beginnings

October 27, 2019 / Wanda / 5 Comments

For awhile now, I’ve felt stuck. Very, very stuck. I’ve written on various occasions about my need to discover my intended path, or my desire to realize my true purpose. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like you are supposed to being doing something, but have no idea what that something is. It’s also an incredible waste of time.

Almost three years ago I took a part-time job, effectively ending my run as a stay at home parent. Initially, it was a great opportunity for me to change things up, while also contributing financially to our household. This job also allowed me to remember that I was more than a wife and parent. I was a valuable, professional contributor, who could learn new things and grow. As a stay at home parent, it’s easy to forget these things. Easy to forget all your accomplishments in the years before you had children. The new job was challenging, and I enjoyed it.

Fast forward two years, and the job wasn’t as challenging. The growth had become stagnant. Not because it wasn’t a good job, but because I had outgrown it. It was time to move on to something else, but the problem was that I didn’t know what to move onto. I was still stuck in that never-ending revolving door of not knowing what I wanted to do. Not knowing what career was best for me. I spent twenty years working in social service, and I knew when I left that field that I was ready for a change. Working in music publishing was great, until I had outgrown the position. And to be honest, I never really found a passion for the industry. I enjoyed it, and liked what we did, but I couldn’t visualize myself growing into the business in other areas. At least not with the company that employed me. Perhaps with one of the many studios, but that would require me to give up so much time with my family, and I wasn’t willing to do that either. So, like many of us, I stayed stuck, doing the same old thing, keeping the same job, thinking I would eventually figure it out.

This past August, I got a text from another PTA mom, who informed me that a part time position in the front office of our elementary school was open, and she thought I should apply for it. I immediately knew I wanted this job. Lightening bolt! I also rationalized that this new job could help me balance out the stagnancy of my other position. A rejuvenation, of sorts. (And also, I need the extra money. My kids are expensive, and the older they get, the more expensive they become.) I have long since abandoned the thought of needing a specific type of job or title. People who know me often say they’re surprised I’m not running my own company, or involved in some big corporation. I will admit that sometimes I do feel guilty, knowing I can do more, and choosing to do less. Is it laziness on my part? A cop-out? I don’t think so. I just want to be inspired. I want to enjoy my work. And I want to be available to my kids, while they are still young enough to actually need me.

And I love it! I love the energy, I love the people and I love the environment. I love the kids that come to my desk and ask for copies. I love the kids that come in with boo-boos and need a hug. I love the teachers who are friendly, hilarious and build each other up every day so they can all be successful. I love my office co-workers and the health clerk who dances when there are no kids around. I love the team of PTA moms (myself included) who are in and out, volunteering and making so many good things happen for our kids. And I love our principal, my new boss, who is positive and supportive and the best cheerleader in the room.

In my other position I worked from home, only really interacting with my boss, when she needed me for something, or if we went to lunch. The majority of my work was completely independent, no interactions required. This was convenient and flexible, and also what I thought I wanted for a long time. It served its purpose for almost three years, and I am grateful for those opportunities. However, I’ve also learned that it was sucking my soul dry. The isolation of working from home, rarely interacting with others. I need people! I am a people person. I thrive in environments where communication and interaction is key. I like to work the room. I need to engage. I didn’t understand this about myself until I was in a position where it wasn’t available to me, even though it was what I thought I wanted. This part time job working in the school office has energized me in a way I haven’t been in years!

I let my position go with the music publishing company last week. It was a hard decision, but the right one. It’s wasn’t enough to have a sliver of something better. I always see those memes on social media that talk about letting go of the things in life that don’t serve you, because they take up energy better applied elsewhere. I understand the full meaning of that now. It’s not enough to have two jobs, one you enjoy to balance out the one you don’t. It’s better to focus on the one you love, then other good things will follow as a result of the positive energy you put toward it. I believe that fully. I am grateful for the realizations, and the lessons.

One day, I will rule the world. But for now I will check attendance, order school supplies for teachers, put band-aids and ice packs on tender skin, and support this team of educators responsible for so many young lives and minds. And I will love every minute of it.

Cheers to new beginnings!

Beyond the Veil

October 16, 2017 / Wanda / 11 Comments

Hello, world.

It’s been so long since I’ve done this that I feel as if we’re on a first date, again. Honestly, I’m a little nervous. It’s been a while since we’ve spent any time together. Will you still like me? Will I say something funny or interesting, and will you laugh? Will we be able to regain that sense of mutual interest and connection? Will you text me later and say you had a nice time?

I promise that if you do, I won’t wait another eight months to respond. 😉

The past eight months has flown by in a whirlwind of activity. Work, kids, husband, friends, travel, work, kids, husband, work, family, work, PTA, kids and work. It’s all been good, mostly.

My job, which I started nine months ago, has been going pretty well. After six years as a stay home mom, I took a part-time position working for a music publishing company as a music coordinator and personal assistant. It’s been fun. We create and license orchestral music/sound design for movie trailers. I love music and movies, so it seemed like a good fit, although I have no previous experience in either industry. As it turns out, my penchant (read OCD) for detail and organization lends itself nicely to the trailer music industry. A lot of people ask me for examples of what we do. Did any of you happen to see the debut trailer for The Last Jedi? The epically moving, raise the hair on your arms music in that trailer just happens to be ours! Yes, it was a BFD. We celebrated the next morning after the release of the trailer with mimosas and French omelets. Just in case you haven’t seen it…

Later, my daughter asked me, “Mom, what did YOU actually do to contribute to that movie trailer?” I couldn’t tell if she was mocking me because she thinks I’m lame, or if she was looking for proof that I’m really as cool as I tell her I am. So I was honest with her and said, “Not a damn thing. My job is to do all the other stuff, so the people I work for can focus their time and talents on creating music for projects like this.” I’m pretty sure she took that as validation of her initial assessment, which is that I’m lame.

Despite how well my job is going, I will admit that I’m still waiting for my lightening bolt. For a long time I’ve had this sense that there’s something I’m supposed to be doing, yet I have no idea what it is. It’s like there’s a thin veil hanging over my life, and I can’t quite see through it, but I know the answers I need are on the other side. I’ve always envied people who understood their talents. People who have a clear vision of their path in life. Some people know without hesitation what they are meant to do. Their talent and drive toward that goal manifests itself clearly for them. For me that has never been the case. Despite doing well in the career/jobs I’ve chosen, I’ve always struggled to fully grasp my sense of purpose, and after celebrating another birthday this past September, I feel a sense of urgency toward whatever self-discovery needs to take place in order to put myself on the right path. I’m not afraid of hard work, I just want to realize what I’m supposed to be working toward so I can get on with it. Is it too much to ask to wake up one morning with a hand written note beside my bed that reads,

Dear Wanda,

You are destined to become a dolphin trainer. Please make arrangements for whatever training is necessary to complete this task and file your application for employment at Sea World, as soon as possible.

Your welcome,

The Universe

I think I would take a clue like that seriously. I tried asking my kids what they think I’m good at. Their answers are ridiculous but I love their honesty. My son says stuff like, “You’re good at snuggles, Mommy. And you make the best meatloaf.” He also told me I was good at being a mommy, and he suggested I open up the baby factory and have another one so he could be a big brother.

So that’s where I’m at. Attempting to support one company on it’s path to greatness while I strive to discover my own. If any of you can relate, it would be awesome to hear about it. And by the way, to those of you who reached out to check on me during my little blogging hiatus, I want you to know how much I genuinely appreciated that, so thank you! 🙂

Wanda Says…The Versatile Blogging Award!

May 2, 2015 / Wanda / Leave a comment

Most of you know that I LOVE blog awards!

So, I’m very flattered and happy to accept the nomination for the Versatile Blogger Award from two of my fellow bloggers.

The first nomination for this award was given to me by Tastehitch. Andy’s blog is brilliant, and he happens to be the author of Being A Dad Is Brilliant. He writes a lot about fatherhood and parenting…you know, the glamorous life. Check him out, or better yet, buy his book, and I promise you will not be disappointed!

The second nomination was given to me by Rob over at the V-Pub. V-Pub is short for Virtual Pub, and Rob’s blog has a little bit of something for everyone. He blogs about music, life and the occasional (or frequent) embarrassments that make the best happy hour stories. Go check him out!

Thank you, to both Andy and Rob for the nominations!

Here is a list of rules to accept this award:

Show the award on your blog.

Thank the person who nominated you.

Share seven facts about yourself.

Nominate 15 blogs.

Link your nominees’ blogs, and let them know.

Seven Facts About Me:

1. I’m a HUGE Star Wars fan. I grew up wanting to be Princess Leia. Soooo, one of the most memorable moments of my life happened like this…..I was sitting in an aisle seat at the Coliseum, watching a USC football game with my husband. Dan is a Trojan. George Lucas was at the game as alumni and to promote his latest film project. As he was exiting the stadium, George Lucas walked right past me. That man was five feet away from me, and for about ten seconds, as I watched him approach, I swear everything went into slow motion and I heard the Star Wars theme song in my head. It was epic, and I will never forget it. (And yes, his hair is incredible!)

2. I’ve mentioned this before in my very first Wanda post ever, but I have a strict policy of only naming my pets after historical figures or literary characters. Since my teen years I’ve had beloved pets who bore the names of Napoleon, Ulysses (S. Grant), Thor (Norse mythology’s god of thunder), Cain (biblical son of Adam & Eve), Psyche (Greek mythology’s goddess of the soul and wife of Eros), Scout (To Kill a Mockingbird), and Oliver (Oliver Twist). Currently, my two cats are named Lucy and Linus, from of course, The Peanuts Gang.

3. There are a handful of movies that I am unable to pass over if I come across them on television. They become a mandatory time suck and I am helpless to change the channel or be productive in any way until the movie is over. Some of these movies include Stand By Me, The Goonies, Rocky, The Breakfast Club, Alien (and any of the sequels in this franchise), Star Wars, and any Tom Hanks movie, ever made. I’m a huge Tom Hanks fan. That’s a lot of time sucking.

Goonies Never Say Die!

4. I can sing. Or, I’ve been told that I can sing by others, but I choose not to sing in front of anyone other than my kids and our pets. I get embarrassed and self-conscious and that just doesn’t feel good. My husband says that if I wasn’t so self-conscious I could be a karaoke super star. Isn’t that sweet? Also, the only instrument I can play is an air guitar. I totally rock that shit. Particularly when playing anything AC/DC.

5. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Special Education and I spent twenty years of my career prior to becoming a stay home parent working with children and adults with special needs. Over the course of those twenty years I’ve had jobs ranging from providing direct care, managing group homes, providing advocacy services, licensing and program coordination, to being an assistant director of a private family services agency. I’ve cared for individuals with special needs in every capacity imaginable, and it is not work that just anybody can do. I’m very proud of the people I was able to help over the course of my career, and I have days where I miss it terribly.

6. One of my biggest regrets so far in life is not going back to school to pursue a Master’s Degree. At this point in my life, it may still be an option, but since I feel I’ve moved on from my previous career and would like to embark on something new, I have no idea what I would go back to school for. I’m still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Any suggestions?

7. I’m a good baker. I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. Ask anyone who knows me. I used to make cookies for my friend’s as their birthday presents, and they were thrilled to get them as their annual gift. At one point my husband suggested I open a bakery business based on his love of my chocolate chip cookies. No, I won’t share the recipe. I spent about five years tweaking the recipe to get it juuuuuust right. If I ever do open a bakery, I’ll call it “You’re Not the Boss of Me Bakery.” Yeah, that name suits me well.

Now, I would like to nominate a few blogs in order to pass on the honor of this award. I know it says I have to nominate fifteen blogs, but I won’t just nominate for the sake of meeting a number requirement. The blogs I nominate are…

1. Carrie On, Y’all (Carrie is hilarious! I’ve actually snorted a beverage out of my nose while reading her blog. She’s that good!)

2. Kimboxin (Kim is totally badass, and I love her writing and her perspective on life. Her blog is honest, funny, and I find myself scrolling her blog to make sure I don’t miss anything she writes.)

3. Peaches & Poppycock (Kristin’s blog is funny, full of southern charm (she says y’all a lot) and she enjoys wine flavored ice cream! How cool is that?!)

4. The UnsimpleLife (Ray’s blog is amazing, but he’s currently not posting new material right now due to some recent life changes. However, you should head over and read some of his stuff because he’s funny and insightful.)

5. Floordeboor (I love this blog because the brilliant woman behind it is sharing her personal journey with health and wellness. She’s smart, gives good, solid advice and shares her recipes and tips for weight loss, workouts and just living healthy. Check her out!)

If any of the blogs I nominated choose not to participate, it’s totally cool. And perhaps you will enjoy some new traffic and followers based on the good things I said about you!

Have a great weekend, everyone, and thanks again for the award!