That moment when you think you’re alone in the bathroom. Showering, washing your hair with your eyes closed. And then you open them and see a dark figure pressed against the fogged glass. A scream builds in your throat and you start to jump away…only to realize it’s your kid, and you can’t scream because you will scare the shit out of him, and he’s only 3, and you care more about his feelings than the fact that he almost gave you a heart attack.  So you choke back your scream and refrain from losing your shit.

Good mommy.