Wanda Says…Oreos are my crack.

oreo cookiesI’m addicted to Oreos.  These cookies are my crack.

As a rule I try to keep junk food out of the house.  It’s unhealthy, and the more sugar and preservatives a food has in it, the more likely I am to want to devour it.  So I don’t buy junk food as a means of self-preservation.

Today, however, in some misguided attempt to believe I had a shred of willpower in my body, I decided to buy a package of Oreo cookies for the kids.  Yes, that’s right, I did it for the kids.  I did not buy them because I love all things sugar and have a weakness for chocolate cookies.  Not at all.

This afternoon I pulled out the cookies and thought I would just eat a couple.  Within a few minutes of opening the package I realized I had eaten five cookies.  Five cookies!  In like, three minutes.  Holy Shit!  Oreos are like crack for people who have never done crack, but I think this must be what it feels like to do crack.

Oh. My. God.

I could sit down and eat this whole damn bag of cookies.  I started having thoughts of hiding them and not telling the kids I bought them so I could savor them and enjoy each delicious cookie myself.  They can’t appreciate these cookies like I do, so really, if I share them, then I’m just wasting them.  And I refuse to waste anything this delicious.

Wait…when did I become this crazy, cookie hoarder?  No, this is not who I am!  This is not who I want to be!

I really do wonder if the Oreo cookie makers put small amounts of a crack-like-substance in the cookie to make you go crazy for them the second they dissolve in your mouth. Or a substance that makes you lose reason as well as your sense of time, so you can eat one cookie after the other and not realize what you’ve just done or how much you’ve consumed.

In the end, after I’d shamefully eaten eight Oreos, I pulled my shit together and put them away.  Not only did I put them away, but I wrapped them in a way that would prevent me from just reaching in the cupboard to grab one more.  I made it so that it would take a herculean effort for me to extract a cookie from the packaging.

But I’m still thinking about those crack cookies.

I have a problem.

I am officially adding Oreo cookies to the list of items I’m breaking up with in 2015.

23 thoughts on “Wanda Says…Oreos are my crack.

  1. LOL. I’m not an Oreo fan as much as I am the Keebler Soft Batch Chocolate Chip cookies. I can eat one box in about ten minutes. Therefore, I can’t buy them anymore…but just know…I know what you’re saying.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, at least you’re not eating the DOUBLE STUFF Oreos, right? Those are the truly gluttonous ones! And I really think you should simply eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat them until you are burned out. If you don’t get sick of them their little Oreos voices will continue calling, “Wanda, eat me … eat me … please … just one more!” BUT if you eat the whole bag, tag on another bag the next day and then the next I’m pretty sure you’ll be burned out on these guys and can finally more on. It’s what I did with crunch Cheetos. I don’t crave them anymore … however, just a warning … I find this little experiment does NOT work with bacon! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re right! I’m not eating the double stuff Oreos! That’s a huge bonus…although I will admit that I don’t like the double stuffed ones. I think it throws off the balance between the frosting and the cookie. I prefer more of the chocolate cookie flavor to the flavor of the icing. I take my desserts seriously! LOL! I like your strategy on this, although I’m not sure my pants could survive a binge of Oreo cookies. I can’t afford to go buy all new pants on the off chance it would take some time to burn out on them. LOL!

      Like

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