I’m addicted to Oreos. These cookies are my crack.
As a rule I try to keep junk food out of the house. It’s unhealthy, and the more sugar and preservatives a food has in it, the more likely I am to want to devour it. So I don’t buy junk food as a means of self-preservation.
Today, however, in some misguided attempt to believe I had a shred of willpower in my body, I decided to buy a package of Oreo cookies for the kids. Yes, that’s right, I did it for the kids. I did not buy them because I love all things sugar and have a weakness for chocolate cookies. Not at all.
This afternoon I pulled out the cookies and thought I would just eat a couple. Within a few minutes of opening the package I realized I had eaten five cookies. Five cookies! In like, three minutes. Holy Shit! Oreos are like crack for people who have never done crack, but I think this must be what it feels like to do crack.
Oh. My. God.
I could sit down and eat this whole damn bag of cookies. I started having thoughts of hiding them and not telling the kids I bought them so I could savor them and enjoy each delicious cookie myself. They can’t appreciate these cookies like I do, so really, if I share them, then I’m just wasting them. And I refuse to waste anything this delicious.
Wait…when did I become this crazy, cookie hoarder? No, this is not who I am! This is not who I want to be!
I really do wonder if the Oreo cookie makers put small amounts of a crack-like-substance in the cookie to make you go crazy for them the second they dissolve in your mouth. Or a substance that makes you lose reason as well as your sense of time, so you can eat one cookie after the other and not realize what you’ve just done or how much you’ve consumed.
In the end, after I’d shamefully eaten eight Oreos, I pulled my shit together and put them away. Not only did I put them away, but I wrapped them in a way that would prevent me from just reaching in the cupboard to grab one more. I made it so that it would take a herculean effort for me to extract a cookie from the packaging.
But I’m still thinking about those crack cookies.
I have a problem.
I am officially adding Oreo cookies to the list of items I’m breaking up with in 2015.
A Girl Named Wanda 
LMAO! (I ate three Oreo’s while reading this.) I’m just as bad, if not worse. I’m an Oreo pusher! Every time I want one…(you know what I mean) I offer one to my daughter. Then we devour half the bag. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
This makes me feel so much better about myself! LOL! But at least you share…my instinct is to hoard and shoot poisonous darts at anyone who looks at my Oreos!
LikeLike
Well, I do have my secret stash. But don’t tell anyone!!! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oreos are like potato chips. You can’t only have one!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oddly, I feel that way about pickles, too. LOL!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The biggest ‘can’t stop’ food for me are pistachios. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least those aren’t terrible. Not a bad choice if you eat them by the fistful. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve learned to eat the white ones and not the red ones. 😀
LikeLike
I don’t eat them, so what’s the difference? Am I missing the joke here?
LikeLike
The red ones have a dye that comes off in your hands and mouth, leaving no doubt what you’ve been up to. If you’ve been binging on the red ones, your mouth tends to look like a clowns mouth, and your fingers are a guilty shade of red.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO! That’s awesome!
LikeLike
Ha. So true. I’ve done this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. I’m not an Oreo fan as much as I am the Keebler Soft Batch Chocolate Chip cookies. I can eat one box in about ten minutes. Therefore, I can’t buy them anymore…but just know…I know what you’re saying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, they make those cookies so small! LOL! I’m also a sucker for chocolate & peanut butter ice cream. It’s a sickness, really. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
oooo….me too. But my personal favorite was Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Dough ice cream…and they retired it…never to bring it back. 😦
I used to buy a pint of that stuff three times a week before they took it off the market.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for that…because now I have to go through life knowing that existed, and I never got to taste it. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohh….I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have said anything…oh well. Too late now!
but I have good news! you can make your own.
If you can find Homemade flavored Chocolate Ice cream, then get a package of Nestle peanut butter cookie dough and roll it into small bite-sized balls. Mix them together and there ya go!! Tastes the same and it’s just as bad for you!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Score! You have officially redeemed yourself! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes!!! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, at least you’re not eating the DOUBLE STUFF Oreos, right? Those are the truly gluttonous ones! And I really think you should simply eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat them until you are burned out. If you don’t get sick of them their little Oreos voices will continue calling, “Wanda, eat me … eat me … please … just one more!” BUT if you eat the whole bag, tag on another bag the next day and then the next I’m pretty sure you’ll be burned out on these guys and can finally more on. It’s what I did with crunch Cheetos. I don’t crave them anymore … however, just a warning … I find this little experiment does NOT work with bacon! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right! I’m not eating the double stuff Oreos! That’s a huge bonus…although I will admit that I don’t like the double stuffed ones. I think it throws off the balance between the frosting and the cookie. I prefer more of the chocolate cookie flavor to the flavor of the icing. I take my desserts seriously! LOL! I like your strategy on this, although I’m not sure my pants could survive a binge of Oreo cookies. I can’t afford to go buy all new pants on the off chance it would take some time to burn out on them. LOL!
LikeLike
I buy Oreos for my husband on occasion just as you do for your kids. I end up eating the majority of them! Have you tried the Golden Oreos? Nam Nam Nam!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, what are golden Oreos?
LikeLike