The other day I was at the gym, minding my own business. I was on one of the cycles, just finishing my cardio workout. In my peripheral vision I see this man walking toward me, and he stands directly in front of my cycle, which is positioned along a carpeted walkway.
I recognize him. I saw him a few days ago. I was lifting weights and noticed that he was looking in my general direction. I didn’t think he was watching me at the time but maybe I was wrong about that. He’s tall, in his late forties. A big guy. Not handsome, but not unattractive. Average.
I can tell he’s staring at me and he’s standing three feet away from my bike. I’m trying to keep my gaze on the display screen. Pretending I don’t know he’s staring. It makes me uncomfortable.
He slowly raises his shirt to reveal a hairy, sweaty chest. He begins to dry himself off with a towel while continuing to stare at me.
What the fuck!?
I look to the left, then to the right. Am I being punked? Is this for real? Who does this?
Then he turns around, lifts his shirt again, and dries his back while looking over his shoulder at me. His back is hairy and sticky with sweat. I almost threw up a little in my mouth. I don’t usually have an issue with hairy chests, but this is not sexy. This is not okay. Why is this happening? I feel as though I have been visually assaulted!
Then, and I swear to God I’m not making this up, he hikes his leg up on a piece of exercise equipment, sticks out his ass, and then looks over his shoulder to stare at me again. It was like something Will Ferrell would do in an SNL skit. I was speechless. I had no words. I couldn’t even laugh because his behavior was so ridiculous.
No one jumped out with a camera. No one started laughing. Am I being hit on? Is this how old dudes try and pick up women at the gym? No wonder so many people prefer to be single these days!
I can never un-see that! Ever! It makes me want to scrub my eyeballs with bleach and a wire brush!
I quickly jumped off the bike and headed to the locker room. When I got home I told Dan about it. He laughed and laughed. I said, “I don’t know if I was supposed to be flattered or insulted, but I’m leaning toward insulted.”
Help me feel better about this people….what’s your worst gym story?