What’s up with Wanda?

June 11, 2015 / Wanda / 15 Comments

Hello, world!

Lately I seem to have difficulty finding time to attend this blog with any regularity. I’m envious of all the amazing bloggers I follow who seem to have the time, energy, and creativity to post weekly, if not multiple times each week. How do you do it? If I can post once every two weeks, I feel accomplished. And in order to do that I have to hide from my family and make them pretend I’m not home. I am so very behind on my blog reading, it’s pitiful. I’m trying to catch up, so if you see me comment or like five of your posts in one day, I’m not really stalking you. Much. As far as you know.

I guess this post is really just a mish-mash of catching up. You know, sort of a ‘What’s up with Wanda?” kind of thing. Not very exciting, but here goes…

Bryn got home from camp! She was tired, happy, and her dirty laundry smelled like Hell farted in her face. I’m not kidding. I gagged as I was loading the washing machine. It was a weird combination of body odor, some outdoorsy kind of smell, and dirt. Aside from that, I was so happy to have her home! You could say I was giddy. I couldn’t stop hugging her and I could tell she wanted to be hugged. She said she had a great time, and they kept the kids so busy she didn’t have time to miss us. They did nature hikes every day, learned some cool outdoor skills, and got to do fun science experiments that included dissecting a squid and building a model structure that was designed to withstand an earthquake. They studied marine biology, engineering and geology. She loved it and we all survived the week. Well, everyone but the squid.

The hubs and I started the My Fit Foods 21 Day Challenge, and we are currently on day 14. No coffee, no alcohol, and no sugar for 21 days. The diet involves eating three meals and two snacks per day, and My Fit Foods provides all the meals and snacks, fully balanced and portion controlled. The diet is completely clean with no processed food, gluten or added preservatives. The food is pretty good. Honestly. The hardest part is denying yourself all the things you would normally eat or drink that become routine and habit forming. Like coffee. And wine. I really miss coffee and wine. I also miss eating out. I love good restaurants, and eating out is a huge part of our social activity as a family and while spending time with friends. That’s been one of the hardest habits to break in the past two weeks. Oh, and you also have to drink what they call the My Fit Cocktail. You mix it up first thing in the morning and down it before breakfast. It’s a combination of unsweetened cranberry juice, apple-cider vinegar, and lemon juice. It’s like a super cleanse, detoxifying punch to the face. I won’t miss that when the 21 days are over. We started this challenge as a way to break some of the bad habits we’d fallen into with ordering out and just over-indulging in our favorite restaurants and meals, far too often. Also, despite my working out with a trainer, my ass seems determined to hang on to its double-bubble, and I needed to shake that up. So far, it’s paid off. Dan has lost eight pounds in 14 days, and I’ve lost five. The plan is expensive, so not something a person or family can sustain over more than a few weeks time. It’s also time consuming in a way. Although the program prepares all the food for you, you still have to deconstruct the meals so that you can eventually re-create the type of meals you need to eat on your own once you finish the challenge. That’s what I hate about dieting in general. It’s the constant awareness of everything you eat, why you eat it, how often you eat, and the combination of foods to maximize the effect on your body. It’s exhausting, and did I mention that I really miss wine?

Amen

My son had his pre-K promotion ceremony last week! The two classes put on a Hawaiian themed performance, singing Beach Boys songs and muddling through some nicely choreographed but poorly executed dance moves. At the end they were all called up by the pre-school director and given little scrolls of paper tied to look like diplomas, but in actuality the papers were blank. (The kids were given real certificates later.) It was adorable, and as usual, most of the parents devolved into the most self-centered, inconsiderate versions of themselves. It’s sad really. It seems every parent is willing to piss off ten others by hogging the good camera angles instead of just getting their picture of their kid and then moving aside so another family can get some decent pictures. We have no useable pictures of Bryce because of the mob of parents who kept standing up to take pictures, or kept raising their cell phones above their heads to video the performance. All we have are pictures of the top of Bryce’s head and the arms and asses of several other parents who refused to sit down, despite the director halting the show to ask parents to be considerate of others in the room. Dan was about to lose his shit because the dad sitting in front of us kept standing up every time Dan tried to get a picture. He started to get mouthy with the guy, so I leaned over and quietly informed him that the asshole in question was the father of the boy whose birthday party Bryce was invited to the next day. He’s actually a really nice guy. So, the bottom line is, don’t be that parent. Don’t be the douche-bag dad or mom who only cares about their own kid at a performance and denies other families the opportunity to enjoy the experience as well. And remember, all the other parents whose experience you ruined, will talk about your douche-baggery for years to come.

My older brother, who is also one of my best friends, had major back surgery yesterday morning. He has a degenerative disc disease that destroyed the cushion between a few of his lower vertebrae, and he was at the end of his options for any type of less invasive medical intervention. He’s only 42 years old and has been living with chronic, debilitating back pain for years. Yesterday morning he had an ALIF (Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion) for L5-S1. Let me tell you, it’s some serious shit. The surgeon entered through his abdomen to reach and fuse the lower part of his spine. Think about that for a moment, and let the gravity of what that entails sink in. He made it through surgery like a boss, and I’ll be traveling to Texas next week to help my sister-in-law take care of him while he’s recovering. I’m anxious to be there with him, and the past week building up to the procedure has been stressful.

So, there you have it. That pretty much sums up the past two weeks. Throw in some housework, ten thousand loads of laundry, constant ass-kicking’s from my trainer, some butt-wiping, end of year school activities and there’s my full plate. 🙂 And just to leave you with something funny that made me laugh…..

Have a great weekend!

Wanda Says…Settle down tiger, it’s just camp.

June 1, 2015 / Wanda / 10 Comments

I sent my daughter off to camp today.

Her entire fifth grade class left this morning for science camp. They get to spend five days in the San Bernardino Mountains, doing science experiments, learning about nature and doing a ton of other cool stuff, like archery and zip-lining.

Five days.

And no contact with parents is allowed.

No contact. For five, whole days.

I’m a fucking mess.

She was pretty nervous about going, and the last few days have been hard for both of us. Hard for her because she was suffering from anxiety and nerves. She’s never been away from us for that long. Hell, she only started feeling comfortable doing sleep-overs this year, and she’s ten years old. Outwardly, I’ve been supportive and encouraging. I know this is important. I know she needs to spread her wings and begin to learn to be more independent. She needs to see how capable she really is, and that can only be achieved by working through tough stuff. In this case, it’s working through her separation anxiety and realizing that she will be ok and can have fun, even when she’s missing her family. In this sense I’ve done nothing but tell her how much fun she’ll have and what amazing memories she’ll make.

Inwardly, I want to shout and scream and demand that the school bring my baby home now! I can’t believe I paid for this shit! I can’t believe I agreed to let my daughter go two hours away into the mountains and be supervised by people I’ve never met. Doomsday images keep floating through my head. What if there’s an earthquake? THE earthquake? The big one that will supposedly redefine the west coast? How would I get to her? What if there’s a bus crash? What if she meets up with a bear? What if some asshole ten year old from her class shoots her with a goddamn archery arrow? What if one hair on her beautiful head is damaged in any way? I will go ape shit and rip that camp apart looking for retribution, that’s what!

(I’m taking some deep breaths right now.)

This was probably the wrong week for me to give up wine and coffee, but that’s a post for another day.

The truth is that my heart feels like it has a giant hole in it. The house feels empty. The hallways sound hollow. She’s only been gone for twelve hours and her absence has left its mark on all of us. This morning her little brother cried. He loves her so much, and he couldn’t understand why his Bryn was leaving for so many days. I held it together until the bus pulled away from the school. Then I couldn’t stop the tears. Other parents saw me quietly crying, despite my giant sunglasses covering my face. They offered me sympathetic looks and as a few of them tried to talk to me all I could do was put up my hand to ward them off and march home, crying the entire way. My husband held me and offered to take the day off work so we could spend the day together and take my mind off of Bryn’s absence. While I adore his gesture and love him more than words can say, I decided to just keep busy and get on with my day.

A few of the other parents have been thoughtful and kind enough to text and email me today, checking in to see how I was doing. While I truly appreciate their consideration and thoughtfulness, it makes me feel like a giant candy-ass. For fuck’s sake, it’s just camp! My head knows this, so why does my heart feel like it will be ten thousand years before I see her again?

We’re a close family, and we don’t like to be separated. I’m so thankful for that. I’m so thankful that our family unit is so connected that when one of us is missing, we are all affected. I grew up in a household where that wasn’t the case, so I am doubly appreciative of the bond my husband and I share with our children and with each other. It’s priceless.

And learns how to do her own ponytail!

So, I am now trying to banish the ugly, apocalyptic thoughts racing through my head and find the silver lining. I’m trying to focus on the good things that will come from her week at camp. She will learn how to manage a bit without me. She will learn to be more independent and self-assured. She will learn how to keep track of her own stuff. She will learn how to pack her own damn suitcase when it’s time to come home. And, for the love of God, if one of her friends actually manages to teach her how to do her own hair, then it will be worth every tear shed and every expensive dollar that it cost to send her there.

So, if you feel like contributing, I would love to hear your best camp story. 🙂

Wanda Says…My worst nightmare!

May 18, 2015 / Wanda / 10 Comments

It rained spiders in Australia.

Did you hear me?

It fucking rained spiders in Australia!

http://www.nbcnews.com/science/weird-science/pouring-down-arachnids-australias-spider-rain-explained-n361006?cid=sm_fb

The end is near.

This is what I imagine Hell would be like. Thousands of spiders falling from the sky! Every cell in my body is jumping around and screaming in agony at the thought.

I hate spiders. I’ve physically shuddered, my shoulders twitching, the hair on my arms standing up and chills racing up and down my spine, like ten times since I started typing this post. I keep imagining that something is crawling on me.

Just….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

No shower of spiders, “ballooning” from the sky, covering my house in threads of silk so dense it looks like cotton. This sounds more like the plot line of a new horror movie, not a true scientific event that’s easily explained by arachnid migration patterns. This is seriously on par with a zombie apocalypse for me. I would never leave the house again for fear of one of them dangling from the rooftop waiting to touch me. Or worse, how could I not run from the house for fear that they would invade the openings or crevices of my home and work their way inside to crawl on me in my sleep! I saw the movie Arachnophobia, and I didn’t sleep for weeks.

One time, I noticed this horrible, disgusting, hairy spider clinging to the side mirror on my car as I was driving to work. I almost had to set fire to the car to get rid of that fucking spider!

I just threw up in my mouth a little looking at this picture. Thank God this isn’t a picture of my car. I borrowed this from Google.

I wish I didn’t know this. I wish I could somehow make my brain un-know it. I can never un-see this. I may never be able to travel to Australia now, and I’ve always wanted to go there. Australia is tainted for me now.

Spiders ruin everything.

Wanda Says…You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry.

May 14, 2015 / Wanda / 10 Comments

It takes a lot to make me angry.

A few things have happened that have triggered my protective instincts and my anger and frustration has peaked in a way that might be a little unhealthy.

I want to scream. I want to throw shit, yell at people and make my displeasure known. I want to write a long blog post about why I’m angry and why I am completely justified in feeling this way.

But I can’t. I can’t be immature about this and vent the circumstances of my anger to the world. I can’t shake the shit out of people and make them make better choices.

So, instead of a full-blown rant full of profanity and finger pointing, I offer you The Hulk.

Word.

Wanda Says…My dog has a blogger twin!

May 9, 2015 / Wanda / 10 Comments

So, I was checking out some new blogs today (new to me), and I discovered that Choppy, over at Travels with Choppy is a spitting image of my dog Molly! How crazy is that? My dog has a blogger twin!

So this post is really just to show Sarah, Choppy’s mom and fellow blogger, a picture of my sweet girl Molly!

She’s all like, “Why are you taking my picture? You’re giving me a complex. I might pee.”

Wanda Says…Truth!

May 9, 2015 / Wanda / 2 Comments

Happy Mother’s Day to all the awesome mom’s out there!

Wanda Says…Random Thoughts, Fancy Cars, Play-Doh and TMI.

May 7, 2015 / Wanda / 2 Comments

My house is a bit of a mess and I keep waiting for someone else in this family to take some initiative and clean it. Then I remind myself that everyone else is waiting for me to do it because as a stay home mom, that’s my job. I’m looking at the floors and thinking I need a raise. Or a glass of wine while I contemplate when I may feel like getting around to some housework.

I’m tired all the time. I thought once I started working out a lot that I would have all this boundless energy. All I have is sore muscles, some new muscles, and constant cravings for caffeine and meat.

Every Tuesday and Thursday when I go to the gym, there’s a black, Rolls Royce Wraith in the parking lot. Seriously. A freaking Rolls Royce! Every week I see this car and I think…Really? Because that’s your casual car?

Would you drive this to the gym?

Bryce has been begging me all day to play with his play-doh. I hate play-doh. It took forever to clean up the mess he made yesterday with his play-doh, and I just want it to disappear. He likes to take several different colors, squish them all together and then shape it into a puddle. Then he brings it to me and says, “Here’s another pool of vomit, mommy!” He makes these “pools of vomit” and then expects me to save it and display it on the fireplace mantel. He gets upset when I try to secretly throw them away. He notices when they disappear from the mantel. He doesn’t believe me anymore when I tell him I’m saving them in a special, secret location. Did I mention that I hate play-doh?

My husband had to fly to Oakland today for a meeting with one of his clients. He’s in the e-commerce business and he works with a variety of online retailers. This particular client happens to be a company that makes products exclusively for adults. *Ahem* To be more specific, they sell sex toys. Apparently, during the meeting, the company gave out goodie bags to all the executives. He texted me a picture of the bag and said, “I can’t wait to go through TSA at the airport.” He won’t tell me what’s in the bag. He says it’s a surprise. I don’t actually care about what’s in the gift bag, but I would give almost anything to watch him go through airport security with that bag. It was a day trip so he didn’t take luggage with him. It should make him feel better that everyone from his company got a gift bag, so they all have to go through airport security together, with sex toys in their possession. (I’m crying laughing just thinking about it!)

10806242_1572206826353329_5670738414475305045_n[1]

Because I won’t put up a picture of a sex toy, its funny, and topically, it’s somewhat relevant.

Have a great weekend! 😉

Wanda Says…The Versatile Blogging Award!

May 2, 2015 / Wanda / Leave a comment

Most of you know that I LOVE blog awards!

So, I’m very flattered and happy to accept the nomination for the Versatile Blogger Award from two of my fellow bloggers.

The first nomination for this award was given to me by Tastehitch. Andy’s blog is brilliant, and he happens to be the author of Being A Dad Is Brilliant. He writes a lot about fatherhood and parenting…you know, the glamorous life. Check him out, or better yet, buy his book, and I promise you will not be disappointed!

The second nomination was given to me by Rob over at the V-Pub. V-Pub is short for Virtual Pub, and Rob’s blog has a little bit of something for everyone. He blogs about music, life and the occasional (or frequent) embarrassments that make the best happy hour stories. Go check him out!

Thank you, to both Andy and Rob for the nominations!

Here is a list of rules to accept this award:

Show the award on your blog.

Thank the person who nominated you.

Share seven facts about yourself.

Nominate 15 blogs.

Link your nominees’ blogs, and let them know.

Seven Facts About Me:

1. I’m a HUGE Star Wars fan. I grew up wanting to be Princess Leia. Soooo, one of the most memorable moments of my life happened like this…..I was sitting in an aisle seat at the Coliseum, watching a USC football game with my husband. Dan is a Trojan. George Lucas was at the game as alumni and to promote his latest film project. As he was exiting the stadium, George Lucas walked right past me. That man was five feet away from me, and for about ten seconds, as I watched him approach, I swear everything went into slow motion and I heard the Star Wars theme song in my head. It was epic, and I will never forget it. (And yes, his hair is incredible!)

2. I’ve mentioned this before in my very first Wanda post ever, but I have a strict policy of only naming my pets after historical figures or literary characters. Since my teen years I’ve had beloved pets who bore the names of Napoleon, Ulysses (S. Grant), Thor (Norse mythology’s god of thunder), Cain (biblical son of Adam & Eve), Psyche (Greek mythology’s goddess of the soul and wife of Eros), Scout (To Kill a Mockingbird), and Oliver (Oliver Twist). Currently, my two cats are named Lucy and Linus, from of course, The Peanuts Gang.

3. There are a handful of movies that I am unable to pass over if I come across them on television. They become a mandatory time suck and I am helpless to change the channel or be productive in any way until the movie is over. Some of these movies include Stand By Me, The Goonies, Rocky, The Breakfast Club, Alien (and any of the sequels in this franchise), Star Wars, and any Tom Hanks movie, ever made. I’m a huge Tom Hanks fan. That’s a lot of time sucking.

Goonies Never Say Die!

4. I can sing. Or, I’ve been told that I can sing by others, but I choose not to sing in front of anyone other than my kids and our pets. I get embarrassed and self-conscious and that just doesn’t feel good. My husband says that if I wasn’t so self-conscious I could be a karaoke super star. Isn’t that sweet? Also, the only instrument I can play is an air guitar. I totally rock that shit. Particularly when playing anything AC/DC.

5. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Special Education and I spent twenty years of my career prior to becoming a stay home parent working with children and adults with special needs. Over the course of those twenty years I’ve had jobs ranging from providing direct care, managing group homes, providing advocacy services, licensing and program coordination, to being an assistant director of a private family services agency. I’ve cared for individuals with special needs in every capacity imaginable, and it is not work that just anybody can do. I’m very proud of the people I was able to help over the course of my career, and I have days where I miss it terribly.

6. One of my biggest regrets so far in life is not going back to school to pursue a Master’s Degree. At this point in my life, it may still be an option, but since I feel I’ve moved on from my previous career and would like to embark on something new, I have no idea what I would go back to school for. I’m still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Any suggestions?

7. I’m a good baker. I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. Ask anyone who knows me. I used to make cookies for my friend’s as their birthday presents, and they were thrilled to get them as their annual gift. At one point my husband suggested I open a bakery business based on his love of my chocolate chip cookies. No, I won’t share the recipe. I spent about five years tweaking the recipe to get it juuuuuust right. If I ever do open a bakery, I’ll call it “You’re Not the Boss of Me Bakery.” Yeah, that name suits me well.

Now, I would like to nominate a few blogs in order to pass on the honor of this award. I know it says I have to nominate fifteen blogs, but I won’t just nominate for the sake of meeting a number requirement. The blogs I nominate are…

1. Carrie On, Y’all (Carrie is hilarious! I’ve actually snorted a beverage out of my nose while reading her blog. She’s that good!)

2. Kimboxin (Kim is totally badass, and I love her writing and her perspective on life. Her blog is honest, funny, and I find myself scrolling her blog to make sure I don’t miss anything she writes.)

3. Peaches & Poppycock (Kristin’s blog is funny, full of southern charm (she says y’all a lot) and she enjoys wine flavored ice cream! How cool is that?!)

4. The UnsimpleLife (Ray’s blog is amazing, but he’s currently not posting new material right now due to some recent life changes. However, you should head over and read some of his stuff because he’s funny and insightful.)

5. Floordeboor (I love this blog because the brilliant woman behind it is sharing her personal journey with health and wellness. She’s smart, gives good, solid advice and shares her recipes and tips for weight loss, workouts and just living healthy. Check her out!)

If any of the blogs I nominated choose not to participate, it’s totally cool. And perhaps you will enjoy some new traffic and followers based on the good things I said about you!

Have a great weekend, everyone, and thanks again for the award!

Wanda Says…Great Laughs, Great Friends and Good Times in Charleston.

April 22, 2015 / Wanda / 10 Comments

Every year I take a girls only trip with three of my great friends from high school. This tradition actually began when we were seniors in high school and we drove from Michigan to Florida for the week of Spring Break.

It was a big deal.

Everyone at our small school had their knickers in a twist over four seventeen/eighteen year old girls daring to drive fifteen hours to the heathen state of Florida for some fun in the sun. We survived, had an amazing time, and made it home without one traffic ticket or incident of indecent exposure.

And we did it all without the aid of cell phones, GPS, or online internet maps. We used real maps. You know, the ones kids today don’t know how to read. We called our parents to check in from pay phones. And no one died because they weren’t able to reach us every second of the day.

We were totally independent, smart, capable, badass teenagers.

Fast forward twelve years of being sidetracked with college, jobs, boyfriends who became husbands, raising children, and some husbands becoming ex-husbands, we resumed our tradition of the annual girls trip. Except now we fly instead of drive because we have more money and we’re scattered across the country. We’ve been doing it now for about ten years, give or take a year off for unexpected complications.

Pineapple Fountain at Waterfront Park

This year we congregated in Charleston, South Carolina.

My travel itinerary wasn’t fun since I was basically traversing the country as far as possible from the west coast to the east coast, but once I got there I was completely charmed. This was my very first trip to Charleston and I have to tell you, I was not disappointed. It’s a fabulous city!

We stayed in the historic district and walked everywhere. We took a carriage ride through the city and our guide detailed everything from minute details of residential architecture to churches and buildings of historic significance. We shopped in the open market on Market St. and I bought Sweet Grass Baskets for my children as souvenirs. We walked the waterfront to Battery Park, which has some of the most beautiful trees I have ever seen. We toured Rainbow Row and marveled over the charm of flowered window baskets, burning gas lamps, and real wooden shutters that add an undeniable ambiance to the already weighty, historic feel of the city.

And the restaurants in Charleston are amazing!

I fell in love with the houses of Charleston!

One of my favorite restaurants was called Poogan’s Porch and they serve gourmet southern cuisine. The food was fantastic and the service was incredible. If you go to Charleston, plan to eat there, but make a reservation in advance or you won’t get a table. I had the beef fillet with blue cheese dumplings, and it was to die for!

The other place I would highly recommend is called Kaminsky’s, and it’s a dessert bar. It’s a bar that only serves alcohol and dessert.

Genius!

The line to get into this place was staggering. Thankfully, we had stopped in there for hot drinks one afternoon when they weren’t busy and got to know one of the bartenders. It was raining outside and we wanted to warm up with some spiked coffee. The next evening we decided to go back to try their dessert menu as well, but there was a mob of people waiting outside to get in. It would have been over an hour wait, but our dear new friend, the bartender, was able to snag us some seats at the bar and took excellent care of our dessert and cocktail needs for the rest of the evening. The place is fun, charming and has some of the best dessert Martini’s, ever. And I don’t like Martini’s, so that should tell you something.

Oak Trees in Battery Park

Now, two of us, myself included, already had established alter egos. I am, of course, Wanda. One of the other girls is known as Belinda, but only when she drinks. Not wanting to leave the other two girls without a fun, alter ego to enjoy the weekend, Jasmine and Piper were born out of much alcohol consumption and consideration of naming preferences. I shall refer to my friends by their alternative names out of consideration of their privacy, and well, just because it’s more fun.

Jasmine received a chiropractic adjustment to her back, shoulders and neck by a local homeless man named Byron. I’m not kidding. We were walking down the street and observed this man cracking another man’s back while standing on the sidewalk. Jasmine yells out, “I need some of that!” Byron then crossed the street and began to work his magic. I was shocked. I was waiting for him to feel her up. He was standing behind her with his arms across her chest, working her arms, back and neck. At one point he said to her, “Lean back and put your head on my shoulder. Trust me.” And Jasmine said, “But I just met you.” It took every ounce of self-control I had not to piss my pants right there because I was laughing so hard. Jasmine decided to trust Byron, and he proceeded to give her, as she claims, one of the best back adjustments she’s ever received. The look on her face was orgasmic. She tipped him ten dollars. He rode past us on his bike a few minutes later and shouted out, “You’ve been Byronized!” Yes. Yes she had. (We found out later from our friendly bartender friend that Byron is a bit of a local celebrity, and every one knows him, loves him and he provides back cracking and adjustments free to anyone who needs them).

I love this house!

Belinda was good this year. She managed her alcohol intake well and there were no incidents of ‘Girls Gone Wild’ this year. We were really proud of her.

Piper just had a baby last year and is still breastfeeding. It became fun for all of us to mimic the sound of the breast pump which occasionally made her boobs tingle trying to release the milk. And we were treated to a special visit by her eight month old baby girl. Piper’s husband drove down with the baby so she could meet her Auntie’s and enjoy an afternoon with us. They live a couple of hours north of Charleston. I’m not kidding when I say she is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. I gave her a pink bear, which we named Flo, and she loved her, which means, by extension, she loves me. So that means I’m the favorite Aunt. Just sayin’.

Waterfront Mansion

As for myself, well, I had a Ross Geller moment while at dinner on Saturday night. I wore skinny jeans that night. I never wear skinny jeans because I find them to be tight and uncomfortable. But, to shake things up a bit, I wore skinny jeans to dinner. We walked to the restaurant which was about a mile away from our hotel. It was warm outside and I was sweating slightly by the time we got there. Do you remember that episode from Friends where Ross wears leather pants on his date? And he goes into the bathroom of his date’s house to air out his pants because his thighs are so sweaty? And then he can’t get his leather pants back up and uses baby powder to absorb the moisture on his legs, but the powder mixes with his sweat to form a paste? Yeah, well, my incident was sort of like that but without the baby powder. Skinny jeans don’t like to be pulled up or down sweaty legs. I went to use the restroom when we got to the restaurant and got stuck in the bathroom for a while trying to get my stupid ass skinny jeans back up my sweaty legs. Never again.

In short, we had a great weekend. Great laughs, great friends and good times!

PS–We are considering options for next year’s girls trip, so if any of you have a suggestion for a destination in the US, I would love to hear it. 🙂

Wanda Says…On the Subject of Toddler Memory and Childbirth.

April 2, 2015 / Wanda / 7 Comments

My son Bryce gets physical therapy for a slight gross-motor delay. During one of our sessions with his PT, she asked if my kids ever talked about their early childhood memories. My daughter has a really good memory and she can recall things from her toddler years that surprise me. I’ve never really thought about it with Bryce, but once I did, I was surprised to realize that Bryce can also recall various events from as much as two years ago, and he’s only four.

Anyway, our PT went on to explain that she has a colleague who’s interested in early childhood memory, and had recently read about a study that showed evidence that some toddlers, if questioned before the age of three, could recall events from their birth experience. (Keep in mind we weren’t having a scientific discussion here. It was more sharing this cool story about kids who can accurately recall memories from their birth, which I thought was pretty amazing).

So, PT told me that one night she decided to ask her own two year old daughter, just to see what she would say. As she was putting her to bed, she asked the child if she remembered anything about being born. She said that her daughter got very quiet, and then responded by saying that her arm hurt, and she cradled her arm to her chest. PT then told me that when her daughter was born, her arm had been in a difficult position, which made the birth a bit complicated. Her baby’s arm was wedged up and pinned, and the result was a rather large and colorful bruise on her arm for over a week after the birth.

Holy shit! For a two year old to recall her arm hurting and gesture that seems pretty amazing to me.

I guess the idea behind the theory is that toddlers are like free-thinking sponges, and their brains aren’t bogged down by preconceptions of what they’re supposed to know and not know. They don’t know how to second-guess themselves, so their reactions and recollections are genuine and open. There are many studies that prove that learning begins in the womb, and what prevents babies and toddlers from expressing these memories is a simple lack of developed communication skills. I did an internet search for toddler memory studies and there were all kinds of cool things that popped up, but I was unable to locate the specific study on toddler memory of childbirth.

But I decided to ask my son Bryce and see what he had to say. Bryce is four, so I knew it might be too late for him to remember anything, but I asked him anyway.

We were snuggling together, just the two of us. It was quiet and I had his full attention. He was sitting on my lap and playing with my hair.

Me: Bryce, do you remember when you were born?

Bryce: Yep. (There was no hesitation in his answer).

Me: What do you remember?

Bryce: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

(OMG! Does he remember the counting through the contractions? For those of you who are unfamiliar with this process, the nurses will usually count to ten while you are pushing through a contraction).

Me: Wow. Do you remember anything else?

Bryce: Yep. I remember shapes………..and power.

(Could the “power” be the contractions?).

Me: What kind of shapes?

Bryce: Circles and ovals.

(Does he mean the overhead lights in the birthing suite or bassinet? There were warming lights over the newborn bassinet and over the bed).

Me: That’s pretty cool, buddy.

Bryce. Yep. It was cool.

So, I have no idea if these were true memories or just something he decided to say, but I think the concept of toddlers remembering their birth experience is pretty awesome.

What do you think?